A PN Christmas Carol
by JoyGreenLeaf
Summary: Ah, PlanetNeopians take over the story of A Christmas Carol! Quite frightening.
1. Stave 1: Omni's Ghost

A PN Christmas Carol  
  
On a normal day in December, Mr. Matthew Harty was counting all the NP he made from his shop, Harty and Omni's. His clerk, Ernie Breast, was doing the same. They continued doing this in a dark room lit only by a small fire until they heard a cheerful voice. "Merry Christmas Matt! God save you!" It was his nephew, NightRanger. "Bah!" Said Harty, "Cheese Poo!" "Christmas Cheese Poo, Matt?!" Said Harty's nephew, "You didn't mean that, I'm sure?" "Well I do!" Said Matt, "Merry Christmas...Why be merry? You have hardly no NP!"  
  
"Well," Night replied, "Why be so dismal? You have more neopoints than the rest of the city put together!" Having no comeback to that, Harty simply replied with another "Bah! Cheese Poo!" "Don't be so cross, uncle!" Said Night. "You are all fools! Christmas is no time to be merry. You find yourself a year older, but not an hour richer, and thus you cannot pay bills for your neohome!" He shouted. "If I could, I would make anyone who said Merry Christmas boil in their slushies and have a stake of holly through their hearts! They should!"  
  
"Matt! ¬¬" Night said. "Now leave me alone, and much good may this Merry Christmas do to you! Much good has it ever done!" Matt Harty shouted with rage. "There are many things I have not profited from I still think as good." Night said calmly. "Christmas is one of them. And though it has never put a bottle of sand in my pocket, it is a time that is charitable and kind. Therefore, I think well of it, and it has done me good, and will, in times to come. So I say God Bless it!" Ernie applauded at this involuntarily, but soon noticed the impropriety of it.  
  
Harty scowled. "Another sound from you, Erma, and you're out of the job! Now," Turning to his nephew, "You are a fine speaker. You should run for parliament." "Will you come dine with us, uncle?" Night asked. Matt rolled his eyes. "Why in the world did you get married?!" He asked. "Because I fell in love!" Night said. "Love! Ridiculous! You fell in love?!" He said almost as if that were the only thing crazier than Merry Christmas. "Good night!" "Matt! You never talked to me before I married, why use it as an ecscuse to not see me now?" "Good night!" "Geez, Uncle, why can't we be friends and relatives?" Night said. "GOOD NIGHT!" "Well Merry Christmas anyways..." "GOOD NIGHT DAMMIT!" "And a happy new year!" "Just go -_-;;" So Night left, slamming the door.  
  
As his nephew Night left, two others came in. "Harty and Omni's, I believe. Are you Omni or Mr. Harty?" Said one. "Omni has been dead 7 years. 7 years tonight." Harty said, frowning. "I am sure he is well represented by his surviving partner. I am Nigel Frootcoup, and this is my brother and partner, Nelvin." Nigel handed him some papers. Nigel told Matt, "At this fine time of year, it is generous to give to the poor and homeless. There are many without two np to rub together. Thousands wish for common comforts, or food, sir." "Are there no prisons? No workhouses?" Harty asked. "There are many, sir. Though I wish there were not." Nigel said sadly. "Oh, thats good. For a sec I thought you meant they closed down!" Matt shuddered. Nelvin looked at him strangely. "We have set up a fund, for the poor, homeless, newbies, and scammed, to buy them food and drink for Christmas. Shall I put you down? How much, sir?" "Squat!" "You wish to remain unnamed?" Nigel asked.  
  
"I wish to be left alone. Why make poor weak newbies merry when I do not wish to make myself merry?!" Harty shouted with rage, "I help support the workhouses, and soup kitchens, and prisons! They certainly cost enough, why don't they go there?!"  
  
"Many cannot..." Nelvin said quietly. "And many would much rather die." "If they would," Matt said annoyed, "Why don't they do it and decrease the surplus population? The shops are crowded enough as it is." With that, and a "Good Night, sir." From both Frootcoups, they left.  
  
It was cold, and dark. Stray gelerts roamed the streets sadly, looking for any bones they could find. Harty curled up in a chair, sipping some clamade, when he heard lines of a carol:  
  
"Oit to the world!  
  
The Pant Devil's dead!  
  
Ripped the horns right off his head!"  
  
"Nonsense... Foolish newbies." He said to himself. Ernesto entered. "You'll want all day off tomorrow, right?" Harty said, sneering. "If it's quite convenient, sir." Ernie said meekly. "Well, it's not convenient. And it's not fair. Why should I pay you a day's wages for no work at all?!" Roared Harty. "But sir, it's Christmas, and it's only once a year..." Ernie whined. "A poor excuse..." Matt growled, "But I suppose I must. There's 10k off your salary, though!" Erma left, and Harty closed the shop, and retreated to his room.  
  
As Matt walked down the long halls to his own room, he felt extremely tired. When he finally got there, he saw something that was too impossible to believe. Instead of a doorknob, there was a head. Omni's head. "My eyes are playing tricks on me!" As soon as he looked again, the spectacle was gone. He paused, staring at the doorknob, said "Cheese Poo!" and slammed the door behind him as he entered the room.  
  
His room was dark and quiet. Matt liked it that way. He looked at his dinner, and nibbled on the Spoooky Muffin that was to the side of some Wheat Flakes. As he finished, he sat on a chair, and looked at the sealing tiles. Normally, they would have been flat, but tonight he could have sworn each one had a face carved on them. "Cheese poo!" He thought. But that all changed when, floating through the door, he saw Omni. No, not Omni, he was dead. Omni's Ghost. Omni's Ghost, with the clothes he wore the day he died, and many, many chains.  
  
"W-W-W...What do you want from me?" Matt was terrified. "Much." Omni said in a mysterious, wavering voice. "Who are you?" Even though Harty knew exactly who he was. "Ask who I was." "Who were you, then?" "I was, in life, your partner, Ompimec...You don't believe me." Omni noticed, reading Matt's expression. "I don't." Said Harty. "You see me, you hear me, you feel me. Why do you doubt your senses?" The ghost said. "You could be a bad affect of a Spoooky Muffin. You could be expired Wheat Flakes. You could be spoiled Clamade!" "You do not believe in me, then. AHHH!" The spirit let out a dreadful cry, a scream, and it jangled its chains.  
  
"Why do you haunt me, dreadful apparation?" Harty asked. "I have been condemned to walk the world - Oh, it is horrible! - walk the world and see the things I could have done, the things I could have shared, but now cannot. It is pure torture, to see...!" He again let out a cry, and shook his hands, creating such a racket. "You are in bondage. Why?" Harty inquired. "I forged it through my life. My greed, Matthew. You have a chain, are you not carrying it at this moment?" Matt didn't get it. He didn't have a chain. How? What? "Comfort me, Omni. What have I done? Why? How can I change it?" "I have no comfort to give, Mathew Harty. It comes from others. Others, you will meet soon." Omni looked mournfully at Matt. "You were quite slow to warn me." Scrooge said softly. "Slow?" Omni said, annoyed. "Seven years. Must you have waited seven years to warn me of this?" "I was traveling. Traveling the whole time. As I said, seeing what I could not share...It is torture to see...! But you, you shall see! You shall see."  
  
Omni sighed. "I wonder why tonight, of all nights, I am finally in a form that is visible to you. Many a day I have sat behind you, watching." Harty shuddered. "There is still a chance - Yes! Still a chance! - From escaping my fate. And Oh, Mathew, I hope you do." Omni smiled. "Oh, thank you thank you with Oit on top!" "You will be haunted by three spirits." Matt frowned. "THAT is my chance? More ghosts, like you?" "It is." Om said monotonly. "No thank you." "'Tis your only chance. You will resume your fate, Harty, if you do not. The first comes tomorrow at one o' clock. Ompimec's ghost glided out of a window, and Matt could see many other ghosts, many having a similar fate. He saw TooCute, whom had a flood control shackling her. He saw many others he knew, and some he did not. He was terrified, and fell asleep quickly. 


	2. Stave 2: The First of the Three Spirits

Stave 2  
  
Matt awoke when he heard the church bells ring. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve? It was past two when he went to sleep. He hadn't possibly slept through the whole day! Harty was very frightened about seeing Omni. Was it a dream or not? It kept bothering him. The hour seemed to fly past. Omni had told him the first spirit would appear at one.  
  
Ding Dong!  
  
"One." He said softly. The curtains on his windows were drawn back, it seemed, by a hand. The spirit hopped in, and went to Harty's bed. This figure was quite strange. It wore a white gown, with small orange and grey flowers on the trim and belt. It was almost transparent, and it almost seem to shift in shape, having wings, stripes, four legs, one leg, but usually seemed to look as a girl, with red hair, and light blue eyes. A light seemed to appear from its head.  
  
"Are you...Are you the spirit that was sent to me?" Harty asked. "I am." Her voice was soft, calm, and high. "Who and what are you?" He demanded. "I am the Spirit of Christmas Past." She almost sang. "Long past?" He asked. "No. Your past." She said.  
  
"Why are you here?" Matt asked. "For your welfare." The spirit stated. "Now, rise and walk with me." She motioned to the window. "But I am mortal, you cheese pooey Dido fan! I can't fly, like you!" This was ridiculous, thought Harty. "Take my hand." Harty clutched the ghost's fingers and she yanked him through the wall. But, instead of seeing Neopia, all he saw was grey mist. Then, he saw white snow upon the ground, and it was a clear winter day.  
  
"What? This is where I grew up! I was but a newbie here!" Matt said with amazement. "You're sweating. What's that on your cheek? O.o" The spirit said, giggling. It was a pimple. Harty just muttered angrily. He walked over, with the spirit to the school playground. Many children were playing. He was able to name every one. "There's Nepu! And oh, look! Aqua!" He saw them all, and a small child, the only one not playing.  
  
A tear rolled down Matt's cheek. The young boy was reading, and no one was playing with him. "Ali Baba..." Scrooge said nogalstically. "And Robinson Crusoe...the parrot, the green parrot, and...Oh...Poor boy!" "It is time to go to yet another Christmas." At those words, the young Matt grew, and the room changed.  
  
A small girl came running up to Matt, and kissed him on the cheek. "Mattie! Oh, dear brother! I have come to bring you home!" "Home, Casey?" Matt said. "Yes. Father is nicer now. It's like heaven! Come home with me, brother!" Casey exclaimed. "We can spend Christmas together!"  
  
"She was fragile. A breath could have withered her, but a large heart she had." The Spirit of Christmas Past said sadly. "Yes...I miss her." Harty said, frowning. "She died a woman." The ghost said. "And had, I believe, children." "One child." Matt replied. "Your nephew, Night."  
  
The time shifted again, and now they were on a bust street. They stepped into a large warehouse. "Why, oh my god, it's Shadow! My old Professor!" Shadow looked up at the clock. "Mathew! Dick! Come over here." "Look!" Matt said to himself, "It's the old Dick!" The Spirit snickered. Matt glared at her. "It was his NAME, you K-PAXian slime." "No more work tonight," ShadowEater said, "Christmas Eve, Dick, Harty." As they finished up, many people entered. Dancers, good friends, strangers.  
  
It was Shad's annual Christmas Eve Dance. Fiddlers fiddled, pianists(say that fast) played, and young couples danced. "Oh Mr. Shadow Eater Sir! Wonderful! Splendid!" Dick sang. "The Oitiest! Yes!" Young Matt added. "Nonsense...He only spent a few neopoints of mortal money on this party. Maybe 500, at the very most." The Spirit pointed out.  
  
"It's more than that..." Matthew Harty said, for the first time for ages acting like his previous self. "He worked so hard, and it really was a blast...It didn't matter to us how much it cost, no, not then..."  
  
Again, forward in time, Matt was older, and next to him stood a dazzling young lady in a blue gown, glimmering under the spirit's light. She was crying. "Matt... It seems that an idol has replaced your love for me." "What do you mean, Kaitlyn? I love you!" "You love your gold more than me. I have little, but I loved you so dearly. I am sorry, but I must leave you, Matt. Your greed is too large. What happened to the Mathew Harty I fell in love with?" "We were children when we fell in love. Things have changed." "It seems so..." Kav sobbed, "Goodbye, Mr. Harty." "I loved her so... Gold blinded me. But I did love her, and still today... Poor Kav." Harty sighed.  
  
"It is time I must leave you," The Spirit of Christmas Past said. Her form shifted to that with wings, and she glided off. Matt threw himself into bed and fell fast asleep. Just two more, he thought. Two more spirits. 


	3. Stave 3: The Second of the Three Spirits

Stave 3  
  
Harty awoke again, at the strike of one. He didn't want to be caught by suprise by this next spirit. The minutes passed, and he was quite nervous, not even hearing the call of a lone Shoyru in the night. It was 1:15, then 1:30, and he saw a strange light out in the hall. He went to investigate. "Matthew." A strange voice called from his room. "Come in." Following directions, he did.  
  
At first it did seem like his own room, but it had changed. The walls were green with holly, the ceiling had ivy climbing about, and mistletoe was abundant. Upon the ground was a picnic-blanket heaped up with turkey, goose, cheese, and chicken. A large husky dog sat, watching the food and licking his chops. A great Giant sat upon a chair, with a torch that looked like a horn.  
  
"Come in, Matty!" The Ghost exclaimed. "Come in and meet me! Be careful of the Atomic Cheese..." He motioned to the cheese sitting on the blanket. "I am the Spirit of Christmas Present. But you may call me Yrdie or Chachi!" The spirit gave a jolly laugh. He wore a green robe, and had long red hair and a beard that was very curly. The dog wagged its tail happily.  
  
Matt looked at the ghost. "You have never seen the like of me before." "No...Never." "Now, touch my robe and we shall begin!" Matt did so, and the meal disapeared, as did the dog. So did the whole room, in fact. They were flying high above the city, and people were shoveling sidewalks and going to church. Soon they moved on to Harty's clerk's home.  
  
Erma's wife, Ashley, was getting dinner ready with the help of her second oldest daughter, Ari. Her oldest son, Shand, snuck some mashed potatoes from the bowl. "I wonder where damn Erma went to... and where is little Tiny Timm? Oh, and Lupess!" Ash said to herself. "Here I am! See my new vest? See my vest See my vest See my vest?! HUH!?" Lupess entered. "Lupess! Hi!" Ari cried. "Hola!" She said and smiled.  
  
"Oh, look! Here comes father! And Timm!" Lupess pointed out happily. She hid behind a chair and giggled. Ernesto came in, and his back was leaned over, because he held an 18-year old boy in crutches upon his shoulders. "Damn, Timm, you're getting HEAVY...Ugh" He set him down, and wiped the sweat off his face. "Where is Lupess?" "She's not coming..." Ari said, trying to hold back laughter. "Not coming? For Christmas? Oh..." He gave a large frown. Lupess hated to see father like that, especially since it was only a joke. So she came out and hugged him.  
  
"Well, how did Timmy behave?" Asked Ashley. "As good as gold. Better, even..." Erma paused. "Except when he threw palm fans at everyone." He glared at Tiny Timm. "Hehehee...It was only a joke, pa..." ^^;; Everyone continued making dinner. Ari mashes applesauce, Shand mashed potatoes, Ash stuffed the small goose. After they ate all they could (for the first time in a great while), they tasted a spectacular pudding made by Mrs. Breast.  
  
After that, they formed a semi-circle round the fire, and Ernie held up his cup. "Merry Christmas, everyone. God Bless Us." They all echoed. A little late, Timm said "God Bless Us Every One." And coughed.  
  
"Yrdnal," Matt said sadly, "Will Timm live? Please tell me he will!" "I see..." The Spirit of Christmas Present began, "An empty spot by the fire. A crutch, hung on the wall. Palm fans for every family member, treasured. If the future remains unchanged, yes, he will die." "No! No, please...Can you not spare him? Please let him live!" Harty pleaded. "I do not have the power to. But, if he must die," He said mockingly, "He had better do it, decrease the surplus population!" Harty hung his head.  
  
"To Mr. Harty, founder of this feast!" Ernesto called out, raising his glass. "Founder of the feast indeed!" Ashley said crossly, "I wish he was right here. I'd give him some of MY mind to feast upon. And Oit Dammit, he better have a good appetite for it." "My dear...Do not curse in front of the children! It is Christmas Day!" Ernesto tried to calm his wife. "Hell, I agree with dad." Ari said.  
  
"Of course," Ashley said, infuriated, "It would be Christmas Day when one drinks to the health of such a greedy, stingy, CHEESE-POOEY man such as Mr. Harty. And you should know it better than anyone, dear!" "Dear...It is Christmas!" "Oh, fine. I will drink to him for you sake and the Day's, but not for his. I am sure he is very happy."  
  
After a long, akward pause,(Don't ya hate that?) there was talk about Shand getting a well-paying job. "You'll make more money than I do, dear boy!" Erma was very proud. Soon, the Spirit and Matt left, but not after the family sang a wonderful song.  
  
Hark! The Herald Shoyrus Sing!  
  
Oity to the newborn Chats!  
  
Poor PN, has met its end,  
  
Chats are ways to keep old friends!  
  
They flew out, over to Harty's nephew's house. "Ha! Ha ha! Ha!" Night had a wonderous, jolly laugh. "And THEN, he said, Hehe, That Christmas was CHEESE POO! And you know what, I think he really meant it!" "Oh, that is horrible, Night. HORRIBLE!" Said Matt's neice, Zulu. "I am sure he is quite rich..." "Oh, he is! But he spends his days saving it, keeping it, pinching every single neopoint! It is confuddling, really it is..."  
  
"Well, I cannot stand him!" Zulu said. Her sister, Zippy, agreed. "But I, really," Night told them, "I feel sorry for him, in a way." They all drank tea, and soon Zulu started to play her harp. Soon after, they played charades. It was Night's turn, and he bared his teeth, looking like a ferocious animal. "Ummmmm...A Kougra? Your dear Galagirl?" He shook his head. "Oh, Give us a hint!" Zippy said. "Okay...Bah! Cheese Poo!" He growled.  
  
"OOH! Ooh! It's your Uncle Harty!" Zulu called out. "Yes!" Night laughed. Matt frowned at this portrayal of him. "Is this really what they think of me as, Spirit?" He asked of Yrd. "This is only what is happening. I only project Christmas Present."  
  
Matt had noticed that Yrd was cleary getting older by the second, his beard longer, his hair greyer. "Are all spirits living such short lives?" He asked. "Only my kind..." The Spirit said sadly. "Only Spirits of Christmas Present, for it is only tonight."  
  
Then Matt noticed something very odd. He saw a small hand underneath the ghost's robe. "What is that..." Matt asked. He opened his robe to reveal two small children. One boy, one girl. "Are these spirits?" Harty asked. "No...They are real children." The ghost said sorrowfully. "This is Ignorance, this is Want. Take care of them, or they shall grow... And they will not be children for long." Matt frowned.  
  
"My time grows short." The Ghost of Christmas Past said as he slowly faded away. The clock struck twelve and a hooded figure came out of the mist... 


	4. Stave 4: The Last of the Spirits

Stave 4  
  
The figure slowly, silently approached. Matt fell to his knees when it came, because a chilling wind blew as it came. It wore a long black robe, and in the back there were large wings. Other than that, nothing came out of it, save one long outstretched hand, and it would have blended into the night if it wasn't coming straight toward him.  
  
He felt very small in its presence, and he was terrified. The spirit did not move or speak. Matt said, his voice wavering, "I am in the presence of...Wynd? No... I am in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come..."  
  
The Spirit made no sound, but simply pointed out a long hand. "Then you will show me things that have not come to pass, but will be?" She kept pointing, but there was a small trembling in the upper half of her robes, as if Wynd...I mean, The Spirit, had nodded its head.  
  
Although Harty had already seen 3 other spirits, this one was more terrifying than all of them combined. His legs trembled. The Spirit noticed this, and giggled, it seemed. Soon she returned to her spooky silence.  
  
Harty was frozen. He could see two tiny blue eyes peering out, staring at him. "I fear you more than any spirit I have seen so far, Ghost of Christmas Future. But I know you are trying to do me good. Will you not speak to me, Spirit?" The Spirit was silent. "Lead on. Lead on, then, Spirit. Show me the way."  
  
So the Phantom glided away, pulling Matt with him. They were in the middle of town soon, people were busily moving about. She pointed her hand to a group of PNers who were talking. "Nope." Said Sweet thang, "I don't really know much about it. I just know he's gone." "When? What happened?" asked Josh. "Sometime last night, I think... Only Bob knows why, I thought he'd NEVER die." Sweet said with a laugh. "I wonder what he's done with his money..." Josh told Sweet Thang. "Well...He hasn't left it to me!" Sweet laughed at Josh's joke. "I suppose it will be a cheap funeral," Sweet pointed out, "But I might go...if there's a party afterwards."  
  
The Phantom beckoned him to another group, of three people, which he did not know. Newbies, perhaps. "I got 500 np for his clock!" Said a girl. "Well," said another girl, "I got 2000 np for his shirts!" "Thats nothing!" Said a tall boy, "I was payed 15 k for his sheets. Fine satin sheets, I might add. While he pinched every single penny in life, I must say we greatly profitted from him in death." "Aye." Said the first girl. "But you took those sheets right off him, with 'im lying there and all?" "I did." The boy said proudly. "Oh, I see..." Matt said in horror, "The case of this man might be my own. Oh my God...What is this!"  
  
They were somewhere else now, a dark room. it was bare save for a bed, and on the bed a shape. Though the light was too dim to see clearly, he knew exactly what it was. It was the body of a man. The Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come pointed to it. "Please, this is a fearful place. Let us leave." The Spirit stood, unmoving, pointing. "Is there no tenderness with this death? Does no one feel pain towards this man's expiration? Please, show me at least one!"  
  
The Spirit spread its wings around her body and Matt's, and they were in another place. Ernesto's home. Ashley, Lupess, and Ari were sitting around the fire sewing, and Shand had a book. He was reading it. Ashley suddenly closed her eyesm flinching. "This candlelight makes my eyes weak...I would not show weak eyes to Erma for the world." She sighed.  
  
She heard footsteps outside. Quickly she, Lupess, and Shand ran to the door, outside to greet him. "You went today, Ern?" Mrs. Breast asked. "Yes, dear. You should have seen it. But you will. We must go there often. All of you will see it. Oh... My poor child..." His eye teared. Once he had composed himself, he sat by the fire with the family.  
  
"I met Night walking there," Ernesto said, "Mr. Harty's nephew, you know. A kind man. 'Heartily Sorry,' he said, 'Heartily sorry for you and your good wife. If you ever need anything, just call me.' And he gave me his card. Fine fellow, he was. Seemed as if he really knew Timm..." "He must be a good soul." Ash said, smiling. "Oh, you would know it if you talked with him. He said he might even get Shand a good job..." "Hear that, Shand!" Ashley said happily.  
  
"Let us never forget Timm, dear Tiny Timm, and this fist parting among our family." "Never will we forget him." They all said sadly.  
  
"No...Not dear Timm! Poor child. Now, Spirit, tell me more of the man we saw dead a moment ago." Harty said, sniffling. The robed figure walked on, toward a churchyard. It was a worthy place, Matt thought, for such a man. Overrun with weeds, packed with rows of graves, not a single wilted flower. The Spirit pointed to one.  
  
"Before I look, O great Spirit, tell me, please, are these shadows of things that WILL be or...or only of things that *may* be?" The Ghost only ruffled her wings uneasily.  
  
Expecting some name like Hrobi, or Goten, Harty was completey shocked when he read the tombstone:  
  
Matthew Harty  
  
"No! No, No, PLEASE! I am not whom I was! I have changed, Spirit! Tell me that I may change this fate! PLEASE! I will keep Christmas alive throughout the year! I will live in the Past, Present, and Future! Oh, please, tell me I may change?"  
  
Matt grabbed the Ghost's hand in agony. She tried to yank away, but Matt was strong. The Spirit, however, was stronger yet, and ripped away in disgust, letting out a small groan. Knowing that her time was nearly up, she grabbed a broom-stick, mounted it, and flew away, robe whipping in the wind. For a second, it was blown away, and he saw that the Spirit was mooning him... But the Spirit was gone, and he was in his bed. 


	5. Stave 5: The End of Oit

Stave 5  
  
And he was in his own bed! He was in his own room! He was in his own skin! And best of all, he was in his own time and place, to make changes of his and Timm's fate!  
  
"I will live in Past, Present, AND Future!" Declared Matt as he hopped out of bed. "Thank you, Spirits! Thank you Omni, old dear!"  
  
"My curtains -- My stuff! It is all here, nothing has happened!" He shouted with glee, "I can still change it! It has not happened!"  
  
"I'm happy as a glass of clamade! Giddy as a drunken Brit! Light as a floud! Merry Christmas all of Planet Neopia! Happy New Year to the Universe!"  
  
"There's where Chachi sat," Said he, "And there's where Christmas Past appeared, and look! Out the window where I saw the ghosts! It all happened, it's here, its true! LOL! HA HA HA!!!!"  
  
For one who had not laughed for such a time, it was an excellent laugh. Not great for your experienced chatter, but a damn good laugh anyway.  
  
"I don't even know what day it is! What month! What year, oh I feel like such a newbie! I'm a newbie! What time is it?" Harty didn't really care! Oh how the bells rang from the church, oh how the children played! The sun was golden and shining! He was happy to be alive for the first time in years.  
  
"Hey, you there! What's today?" He called at a girl with a clarinet walking down the street. "Eh?" Asked the girl. "What is today?? I need to know, dear girl!" "Today?!" She looked at him oddly, "It's Christmas Day, of course!"  
  
"Christmas!" Harty said to himself, "Oh, Christmas! There's still time! They did it all in one night! Why, of course, Spirits can do whichever they like! Of course they did! Of course they can! ...--Hey! Celebi!"  
  
"What?" The girl replied. "Do you know the Wal-Mart down the street?" "I should hope I did! Lest it went down the toilet or something!" Celebi giggled.  
  
"Intelligent girl," He said jubilantly, "Remarkable girl! Now, dear, have they sold that large ham? Not the little one, the BIG one?" "The one as big as me?" She asked, a confused look on her face. "YES! Is it still there?" He said, hopping around. "Well, yea... No one has THAT much money..." "Go and buy it! Here, take this money!" He handed the girl a stackful of neopoints. "If you come back in twenty minutes, I'll give you 1,000 np. Ten, TEN THOUSAND! How'd you like that?"  
  
Celebi practically flew to Wal-Mart. "I'll send it to Ernie's!" Matthew whispered happily, "He'll have no idea who sent it! It's twice Timmy's size, even! Oh, hurrah!" Matt was quite hyper with glee.  
  
His fingers flying and making half a dozen typos, he printed out Erm's address and gave it to the Wal-Mart Greeter when he arrived. But before he burst out the door, he glanced at the doorknob. "Oh, wonderful knob! I must use some mud remover on it, indeed! It's getting mighty dingy. Poor thing."  
  
He called for a dog sleigh to carry the huge turkey to the Breast's house, and a large healthy husky was the lead dog. "Thank you, my friend! Be off and brighten the Breast's day!"  
  
As he got ready to go out, it was very impossible. He kept cracking up and could not keep still. He nearly cut his nose off shaving, but if he did he wouldn't care at all. He was in too fine a mood.  
  
Matt was not the old man he was long ago -- only a day! People walking along the streets greeted him happily, "Good morning sir! Merry Christmas!" And he did likewise. They were the best words he ever heard.  
  
Nigel and Nelvin, dear fruitcups, were shivering in the cold, but still asking for donations like always.  
  
"Dear sirs!" He called at them. "Yes, Mr. Harty sir?" Asked Nelvin. "I would like to..." He whispered into Nigel's ear, and Nigie gasped and his eyes grew wide, as he quickly told Nelvin. "Excuse me, sir?!?" "Not a neopoint less, dear sirs!" He replied cheerfully. "Must we... do anything? We are eternally in you debt--" "One thing, my good men! You must come to my shop where I can pay you! Please, any time is well!"  
  
They told him they most certainly would.  
  
Matt then rushed to Night's house. Zulu answered the door. "Oh... Mr. Harty... Do come in, please." She said as politely as she could, quite suprised. Nice girl! Thought Harty. Wonderful girl. "Night is upstairs."  
  
When Matthew walked in, Night just stared. He did this for a few minutes straight, but then remembered his manners.  
  
"Oh... Hello. Who is this?" "It is I, Mattchew Harty, your uncle dear boy!" He chuckled. "Might I stay for dinner?" He asked happily. "Of course!"  
  
All of Night's and Zulu's family came, and a good few of their friends' families, and so on. There were many people and the food was delicious.  
  
There were games and there was music and it was all so excellent. So this is family! This is friends! This is the way life ought to be! He told himself.  
  
He was at his office extra-early, so he could catch Erma coming in late.  
  
And he did! It was nine o clock. No Erma. Fifteen minutes... No Erma. Eighteen minutes late he was!  
  
When he did come in he rushed to his stool and started working, twice as fast as normal like he had been working for hours. "You're late," Harty said, trying as hard as he could to keep his cold voice.  
  
"Dreadfully sorry, sir!" Erma replied meekly. "It- It's only one day a year, you know, and I was really partying last night, and..."  
  
"I cannot take this anymore, Ernesto!" Harty shouted. "Therefore, I do not want to do this, but," Erma prepared for the worst, "But it looks like I must raise your salary!"  
  
Ernie was confuzzled, there was no doubt of it. "Merry Christmas, Mr. Breast. Ever Merrier! Merrier than you have ever had. Now, I must help you and your family out!"  
  
Matthew Harty did help them out, and infinitly more. Tiny Timm did not die, and Matt was like a second father to him. He was a good man, he laughed a lot, and he had many friends. He is one of the major Planet Neopians to date.  
  
He had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. He lived happily and kept one motto. As Timm said: God Bless us, Every one! 


End file.
